Lost in the Froth – The New York Times

Amarilli, my beauty,

Do not believe, or my sweet heart desire

If you are my love?

And even after my soul-altering technologies failed and the kitchens in my glass offices were no longer stocked with kombuchas and microgreens and microbrews, and none of my remaining 15 yes men had the energy for micromanaging, microblogging or microwaving the last. The rest of the lunch items in the glass cabinets in the kitchen, I would still put on my robe and slide down those glass corridors and sing my morning KEEP YOUR SPIRITS UP! Team building and world building memo in the form of Italian opera:

Pure faith: and if I fear you,

Doubting doesn’t work for you.

Close your chest and you’ll see it written in your heart!

You might not know it, but ball gowns and Italian opera and a castle full of fawning minions are the only surefire remedies to burn out and lose it. If you think about it long enough – if you really ponder how you too deserve to be flanked by a group of sycophants – you might start to wonder how anyone gets their pants on in the morning without them.

That’s why people get married and have children: to create their own thriving microcosm of sycophants. Any spouse worth their weight in microchips doubles like a sycophant, a micro-analyst dedicated to forecasting the micro-variations in the micro-climates of the micro-moods of his betrothed, micro-managing every microscopic dip and variation in the micro-mentality of his true love.

Later that day, around 5pm, I find myself waiting in the very long drive-thru line at Starbucks with my two teenagers. We’ve been sitting in the car for 30 minutes and counting. The line barely moves. And suddenly I’m having one of those weird Talking Heads out-of-body experiences where you look at yourself from a distance and wonder:

What poor life choices brought a glorious ice princess to this sad fate?

Which brings us to the moral of our story: anyone who pretends to be flanked by sycophants eventually becomes one of them. Because what else explains landing in an eternal automobile line just because my teenagers experienced a few microseconds of unpleasantness in their brick fortresses of public education today, so now they crave pointless, expensive, frothy comfort ? Why else would an ancient demigoddess willingly submit to such indignities, just to send a KEEP THE SPIRIT! Team-building and world-building memo to your grumpy teenagers in the form of frothy, sugary decaf foam with lots of flavors?

And what about foam these days? Why is foam so sought after? What warped values ​​brought us to this frothy crossroads in human history?

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